My old rules are easy:

1) Solve the first problem first.
2) Don't panic
3) Stop talking
4) Think faster
5) Think harder
6) When you get the solution, party.

My rules started to change:

1) Solve the first problem when it is apparent that the problem is a problem but no sooner.
2) Document the problem, possible solutions, and all possible ramifications to the solutions and the original problem.
3) Document in child-like words the response to a generalized version of the problem.
4) Make sure that everyone buys off on the documented solution to the possible problems.
5) When the problem actually surfaces, forgo the solutions presented since the problem wasn't predictable. Instead, go to step 7.
6) No problem.
7) Solve the problem by applying as many different versions of different people's solutions as you can, and make sure you have buy off from every possible entity that the problem and possible solutions might touch.
8) Solve the problem? If so, create a flowchart to start the post-mortem analysis of the problem and get as many people involved in the documentation of the post mortem as possible.
9) Document the new problem and all possible solutions as generally as possible, and create a procedure to follow the next time this unpredictable problem presents itself.
10) Document the response to the document.
11) Budget time and money to perform studies to create a new document that will approach the problem as a series of opportunities.
12) Once you have solved the problem, solve the problem again because by now something new has popped up and your docs are all out of date.
13) See rule number 301c for the new set of straw man arguments that will be used to form solution on step 503ZZ.
14)....

Now my rules are:



Too bad this place had to go all Dell on me.

Fuckers.