cheeseburgerbrown's Diaries (page 2)
Print Story Priorities
Religion & Philosophy
By CheeseburgerBrown (Thu Jun 09, 2011 at 12:58:42 PM EST) (all tags)
The important thing to bear in mind, I remind myself, is that little of what is usually born in mind is at all important.

(7 comments, 747 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Hopelessly Wrong vs. Hopelessly Touchy
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Jun 05, 2011 at 11:29:19 AM EST) rant, right, wrong (all tags)
Editorial note: use of the second person -- especially in a rant -- can seem unnecessarily accusatory, but please rest assured as a reader here on HuSi that the "you" in the text isn't actually you. It's somebody else altogether.

"Don't truth me, Unk," said Boaz, "and I won't truth you."
-Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

(64 comments, 1648 words in story) Full Story

Print Story There Is No Cut, Only Paste
By CheeseburgerBrown (Mon Jan 10, 2011 at 08:31:10 PM EST) (all tags)
I think things that frak with my styling mojo are part of a sinister plot by forces unknown to deprive me of my blog-given right to emphasize stuff. In a fit, I stopped emphasizing anything for a while so that I wouldn’t have to scan my pastes for missing italics anymore. Now I’ve come to think emphasis is for dorks. Screw emphasis. I’m dedicating myself to dead pan. If you can’t see where the emphasis goes with being marked I invite you to delight in the ambiguity. Ambiguity is the cat’s pajamas, man.

(21 comments, 857 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Now With Wings
By CheeseburgerBrown (Mon Dec 13, 2010 at 08:17:57 PM EST) (all tags)
Cross-posted from johnny's machine:

Against all previous precedent I'd like to present a product review.

This is not a paid review. It's not even a particularly competent review. But if you're at all interested in what might possess an otherwise sane person to buy into a ridiculous and expensive electronics fad and then live with it for six months, read on.

(27 comments, 2899 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Fraggles in the Wall
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 11:24:41 AM EST) (all tags)
There are fraggles in the wall of my bedroom. During the night they eat their fraggle-hole wider in a bid to accommodate the stoutest of their kind. This process makes a terrible crunching noise which makes me dream wrong, but the fraggles don’t even care because they are bastards and my feelings are irrelevant to them. They are also freeloaders.

I know they are not mice, because my cats won’t eat them.

(24 comments, 1031 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Boobs in the Moonlight
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sat Aug 07, 2010 at 10:59:05 PM EST) (all tags)

Coastline geometry is fractal.  Without additional cues, scale is unfathomable.  Any particular convolution might span a hand or a horizon.  I blame Slartibartfast.

Of all of the circumstances under which such a fact might make itself plain, one of the least desirable is when one is actually on the water, navigating said coast, recognizing with each touchscreen pinch-zoom in that any prior correspondence between map and world was largely coincidental.  Shoals become islands; streams become channels.  And, finally, it is painfully clear just how very small your vessel really is and how very far it still has to go...

This is the story of how I nearly drowned my family in Georgian Bay last weekend because I'm an idiot.


(43 comments, 6059 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I Have Run So Dry
By CheeseburgerBrown (Thu Jul 08, 2010 at 02:17:47 PM EST) (all tags)
My imaginarium is still on the fritz.  All I've got is loops -- as if my brain has sampled the creativity of someone feeling more fluid at the moment, and has become hung up on playing certain recordings ad nauseam.  It's like I have the world's largest movie collection in my head, but I only have five seconds of each feature.  I feel like my mind is on DRM lock-down.

There are signs of hope, however.  I am painting tiny pictures of flowers, and they please me.  Samples beneath the fold.

(50 comments, 1681 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Secret Religion
Religion & Philosophy
By CheeseburgerBrown (Tue Jul 06, 2010 at 01:35:01 PM EST) (all tags)
My new religion is a secret.  It's a secret because a primary tenant of my religion is that the religion is never to be discussed with outsiders.  While this may represent a poor marketing strategy, it does serve effectively to inspire in those to whom the secret is already known a certain feeling of in-group solidarity; it is this kind of social cohesion that assures people don't bring bullshit contributions to the annual pot-luck, like take-out pizza or a box of doughnut holes.

(16 comments, 965 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Death Card
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Jun 13, 2010 at 04:22:13 PM EST) (all tags)

 In Which We Consider Saying Good-bye

(71 comments, 2994 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I Miss My Galaxy
By CheeseburgerBrown (Thu Mar 18, 2010 at 11:19:31 AM EST) (all tags)
Fucking pig-fucking Chauvinsists, the disabled snobs, wagging their handicaps around like big penises with flaming haloes. Seriously, fuck those guys. Fuck them right in the eye.

A little backstory to lend context to the statements above:

(56 comments, 1712 words in story) Full Story

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