cheeseburgerbrown's Diaries
Print Story Florida!
By CheeseburgerBrown (Wed Jan 07, 2015 at 08:36:02 PM EST) (all tags)
Put on a show in Palm Beach. Attended in person at the swank old historic hotel. Smuggled in my wife, so she could rollerskate around a while without people asking her to make them lunch or find their shoes.

(10 comments, 760 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Stumped
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Aug 17, 2014 at 09:42:44 AM EST) (all tags)

This is a post about dying. If that isn't your cup of tea, skip this one.

Dying is an increasing problem in today's modern, fast-paced fuck-a-doodle world. According to reliable statistics almost 100% of people across all demographic lines are likely to be affected by dying at some point in their lives, many of them fatally. Wrenchingly, these numbers include children as young as 0.

Part of the problem is a dearth of information from those who have escaped death, or were reportedly able to transmogrify the process to their own ends. As a cohort the post-dead are uncommunicative, with only a tiny percentage making messages available to living people.

Disappointingly these messages are often limited in their scope, offering insights into the future fortunes of friends and family members, or perseverating on personal deeds left undone. Comments about post-death experience tend to be vague, and often lack metaphysical rigour.

(21 comments, 2627 words in story) Full Story

Print Story On the Internet I Blurted This:
By CheeseburgerBrown (Tue Aug 13, 2013 at 09:55:05 PM EST) (all tags)
This diary has been composed in Baskerville. Automatic HuSi filters are in place to prevent this level of pretension, so for your protection a more normal ass font has been substituted.

Please store your panic in a can and sit on it.

NB: Rye.

(9 comments, 943 words in story) Full Story

Print Story At the Razkavian Trickfilm Festival
By CheeseburgerBrown (Mon May 06, 2013 at 06:05:13 PM EST) (all tags)

Please note: for safety reasons this diary should be read without serifs.

All of the particulars have been smeared, because that way I'm free to explore events without worrying too much about pissing people off. Details are randomized, nouns are juggled, geography is fractal, history is alternative.

(8 comments, 9418 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Mustard & Onions
By CheeseburgerBrown (Wed Mar 13, 2013 at 04:15:10 PM EST) (all tags)
A homeless man demanded my hot dog and yelled at me when I didn't make with the compliance. None of it disturbed me much which is how I can tell I'm used to being in the city again. I just designed a new trajectory that included wide berth for the shouting guy and sallied on. Social justice hardly even crossed my mind. Habituation is only slow when you're waiting for it.

(10 comments, 334 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Stuttgarters?
By CheeseburgerBrown (Wed Mar 13, 2013 at 12:17:58 PM EST) (all tags)
Are there any HuShi'ites in or near Stuttgart?

Further: who would allow me to crash on their sofa for a few days so I can go to the animation festival my film is playing in some time between 23 - 28 April 2013? [Update: Accommodations secured.]

(75 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Do You Think I Meant Country Matters?
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sat Mar 02, 2013 at 06:47:37 PM EST) (all tags)
This is just one of those diary-type diaries.

Run, Cheeseburger, Run!
The Sex Secret
The Switcheroo Concludes

(May also contain nuts.)

(34 comments, 1614 words in story) Full Story

Print Story So Long, Paycheques!

Yes, I tendered my resignation at my day job.

It's true.

What a week!

(12 comments, 4035 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I Went There
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sat Mar 17, 2012 at 12:07:12 AM EST) (all tags)
You people like episodic shit, right?

You all like soap opera plotlines that connect shit from shit to shit, with long-game story arcs that only play out in the veriest of very ends. Isn’t that so?

So today’s returning character is Old Oak.

(27 comments, 1687 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Like A Fine Whiskey
By CheeseburgerBrown (Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 11:29:56 AM EST) (all tags)
This is the oldest I have ever Oh wait -- I mean now.

I am so old.

Here are twenty things I think now that show how I'm really old:

(40 comments, 693 words in story) Full Story

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