cheeseburgerbrown's Diaries
Print Story So Long, Paycheques!

Yes, I tendered my resignation at my day job.

It's true.

What a week!


(8 comments, 4035 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I Went There
Family
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sat Mar 17, 2012 at 12:07:12 AM EST) (all tags)
You people like episodic shit, right?

You all like soap opera plotlines that connect shit from shit to shit, with long-game story arcs that only play out in the veriest of very ends. Isn’t that so?

So today’s returning character is Old Oak.


(27 comments, 1687 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Like A Fine Whiskey
Misc.
By CheeseburgerBrown (Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 11:29:56 AM EST) (all tags)
This is the oldest I have ever been...now. Oh wait -- I mean now.

I am so old.

Here are twenty things I think now that show how I'm really old:

(41 comments, 693 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Priorities
Religion & Philosophy
By CheeseburgerBrown (Thu Jun 09, 2011 at 12:58:42 PM EST) (all tags)
The important thing to bear in mind, I remind myself, is that little of what is usually born in mind is at all important.

(8 comments, 747 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Hopelessly Wrong vs. Hopelessly Touchy
Ranting
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Jun 05, 2011 at 11:29:19 AM EST) rant, right, wrong (all tags)
Editorial note: use of the second person -- especially in a rant -- can seem unnecessarily accusatory, but please rest assured as a reader here on HuSi that the "you" in the text isn't actually you. It's somebody else altogether.

"Don't truth me, Unk," said Boaz, "and I won't truth you."
-Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan


(65 comments, 1648 words in story) Full Story

Print Story There Is No Cut, Only Paste
Diary
By CheeseburgerBrown (Mon Jan 10, 2011 at 08:31:10 PM EST) (all tags)
I think things that frak with my styling mojo are part of a sinister plot by forces unknown to deprive me of my blog-given right to emphasize stuff. In a fit, I stopped emphasizing anything for a while so that I wouldn’t have to scan my pastes for missing italics anymore. Now I’ve come to think emphasis is for dorks. Screw emphasis. I’m dedicating myself to dead pan. If you can’t see where the emphasis goes with being marked I invite you to delight in the ambiguity. Ambiguity is the cat’s pajamas, man.


(21 comments, 857 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Now With Wings
Gadgets
By CheeseburgerBrown (Mon Dec 13, 2010 at 08:17:57 PM EST) (all tags)
Cross-posted from johnny's machine:

Against all previous precedent I'd like to present a product review.

This is not a paid review. It's not even a particularly competent review. But if you're at all interested in what might possess an otherwise sane person to buy into a ridiculous and expensive electronics fad and then live with it for six months, read on.

(27 comments, 2899 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Fraggles in the Wall
Diary
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 11:24:41 AM EST) (all tags)
There are fraggles in the wall of my bedroom. During the night they eat their fraggle-hole wider in a bid to accommodate the stoutest of their kind. This process makes a terrible crunching noise which makes me dream wrong, but the fraggles don’t even care because they are bastards and my feelings are irrelevant to them. They are also freeloaders.

I know they are not mice, because my cats won’t eat them.

(24 comments, 1031 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Boobs in the Moonlight
Fishies
By CheeseburgerBrown (Sat Aug 07, 2010 at 10:59:05 PM EST) (all tags)

Coastline geometry is fractal.  Without additional cues, scale is unfathomable.  Any particular convolution might span a hand or a horizon.  I blame Slartibartfast.

Of all of the circumstances under which such a fact might make itself plain, one of the least desirable is when one is actually on the water, navigating said coast, recognizing with each touchscreen pinch-zoom in that any prior correspondence between map and world was largely coincidental.  Shoals become islands; streams become channels.  And, finally, it is painfully clear just how very small your vessel really is and how very far it still has to go...

This is the story of how I nearly drowned my family in Georgian Bay last weekend because I'm an idiot.

 


(43 comments, 6059 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I Have Run So Dry
Diary
By CheeseburgerBrown (Thu Jul 08, 2010 at 02:17:47 PM EST) (all tags)
My imaginarium is still on the fritz.  All I've got is loops -- as if my brain has sampled the creativity of someone feeling more fluid at the moment, and has become hung up on playing certain recordings ad nauseam.  It's like I have the world's largest movie collection in my head, but I only have five seconds of each feature.  I feel like my mind is on DRM lock-down.

There are signs of hope, however.  I am painting tiny pictures of flowers, and they please me.  Samples beneath the fold.

(50 comments, 1681 words in story) Full Story

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